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TIFU by accidentally dosing myself with LSD at work.

Throwaway. Well it was around noon when I ate my pasta. Shortly after that I found myself to be slightly off-kilter and queasy but in great spirits. I initially attributed the feeling to that 2nd cup of coffee I shouldn’t have had. At 2pm it was my hour-long lunch break which I always use for some gym time. As I was walking out of the office I realized that this wasn’t just the caffeine talking. The possibility that I was in fact, tripping, didn’t even occur to me until this point when realized how it could have happened, and sure enough, it did. Somehow. Life finds a way. Saturday morning I had prepared some ‘gummy bears’ for my friends using the translucent Tupperware lid as the backdrop. Some of the residue must have lived through the night. On Sunday I made a bunch of pasta and started eating straight out of the Tupperware. I put the lid on and didn’t think twice about it. Today I ate leftovers at work that must have been contaminated by the container. Or maybe I laid my fork on the lid, then licked that fork…mmmyeah. I’m honestly perplexed how eating the pasta could have dosed me since I microwaved that shit for a few minutes and it’s my limited understanding that high temperature will often nullify the drug. It did though and by the time I had walked to the gym I knew damn well what was coming my way. Well anyway, I went to the gym and worked out pretty intensely for 40 minutes in an effort to blow off all the nervous steam and jitters. The work-out was rather standard except for a brief moment where, lost in concentration, I started walking out of the gym then got slightly disoriented when I didn’t know where I was going, or why. I pulled myself together and took a cold shower then took a nice long walk outside before I had to take the plunge. I did my best to act like a normal human upon re-entry. I cracked one joke (that actually went over really well with half the office) before admonishing myself to behave. My behavior was normal except for when I forgot my co-workers name during an introduction. We had a new team-member start today and I had to give her a tour. I don’t think she could tell I was fucked up but I know I was sweating a lot and rambling. I now have another 50 minutes before I very non-nonchalantly walk out of the office, secret intact, and take a very long walk home. What a fucking Monday.

TL;DR: Accidentally dosed myself and had to spend the rest of the day pretending I was a normal, sober, middle-level manager at the office.

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